User blog:Mr.123/Crazy effects needed
We need some more crazy artifacts. We just do. Ones that are really strange or that just make you go "what the hell?". Original artifacts like the Spine of Saracen, creative ones like the Baylor Dodgeball and powerful ones like the Honjo Masamune. Here are some possible effects, a few which may be too wild to actually work. Come up with an origin, alter the effects where seen fit, and add your own ideas to the list. (When creating an artifact, please include the effect it matches with.) Possible Affects Include But are not Limited To... *X-ray touch (Bian Que's Tea Kettle) *Restores lost civilizations (Hanging Garden of Babylon) *A lost and found (Blueberry Hill) *Mechanical breath (Tirumalai Krishnamacharya Japa Mala) *Fires created from dirt and sand (Phoenician Idol) *Makes objects destructively vibrate (Tomahawk Reflex Hammer) *Causes ideas to come to life (Pygmalion’s Carving Knife) *Liquids become self-autonomous (The Dragon's Pearl) *Turns objects into rain (Blade Runner Clapboard) *Replaces bone with steel, blood with jelly (Edouard Beaupre's Display Case) *Separates matter on an atomic level (Julie d’Aubigny's Sabre) *Creates a land-based whirlpool (Alexander Steinert's Grand Piano) *Drawings and symbols become protective barriers (Robert Langdon’s Mickey Mouse Wristwatch, [[Jean Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulation|Jean Baudrillard's Simulacra and Simulation]]) *Giant rubber duck (Florentijn Hofman's Unlucky Rubber Duck) *Hallucinatory causing light (Stagelight from the UFO Club) *Makes the environment recount the truth (William Garrow’s Wig and Bands) *Explodes radioactive eggs (1950s Skillet) *Increases elasticity (Slue-Foot Sue's Bustle) *Unleashes an army of lava creatures (Alexios IV's Oil Lamp) *Reverses damage (Robert Landsburg's Video Camera) *Will make people into digging creatures (Vannoccio Biringuccio's Soldo) *Cats become four times larger (T.S. Eliot's Food Bowl) *Exploration of cyberspace (Porygon Statue) *Shifts around cities (Radio Tower from the Warsaw Pact invasion of Czechoslovakia) *Plays mariachi music (Oaxaca Pinata) *Speaking backwards or in tongues (Babel Stones) *Speaking ancient Welsh (Rhiannon's Saddle) *Spit blue ink (Norman Keith Collin's Saxophone) *Losing bowel control (Thomas Crapper's Handbell) *Voice changes to a pitch only dogs can hear (Cesira Ferrani's Atomizer) *Changes user into half-animal things like a mermaid (The Lion man of the Hohlenstein Stadel) *Makes user square dance (Larry Ward's Bolo Tie) *User will only taste ashes (Tantalus' Manacles) *User will only speak in truths or lies (Sam Hide's Half Crown) *See imaginary spiders everywhere (Wilton Ivie's Notebook) *Develops extreme acrophobia, fear of heights (Irmin Roberts' Camera Lens) *User will become extremely buoyant (Angelo Faticoni's Chair, Zodiac Life Boat from the Sinking of the Trashman) *Turns words into weapons (Edgar Allan Poe's Quill Pen and Notebook) *Generates intense static electricity (John Carl Wilcke's Rug, Thales' Amber ) *Makes user an albino (James Bartley's Britches) *User will become magnetic to pudding or other soft-solids (Eli Lilly’s Pills) *Sneezing fire (Leonid Telyatnikov's Firefighter Gloves) *Spontaneous yodeling (Jimmie Rodgers Rail Brake) *Growing a camel hump (Henry C. Wayne’s Saddle) *Bees will find you unattractive (Arthur Aitken's Pith Helmet) *Wallpaper will become sweet like candy (Willy Wonka's Golden Tickets) *Wood furniture will grow like a tree (Grinling Gibbon's Whet Wheel) *Dreams about clowns (Red Skelton’s Doughnut Box) *Reverses position of orifices (John Hopoate's Cleats) *Repeat everything that has been said (Echo's Belt) *Boils water in proximity (Cesira Ferrani's Atomizer) *Causes male lactation (Flidais' Staff) *Make crickets the size of terriers (Maria Sibylla Merian's Painting Set) *Rains cranberry juice (Charles Fort's Umbrella) *Causes fashion faux pas (Tacky Taste Inducing Plastic Flamingo) *User will sweat gravy (William Makepeace Thackeray's Gravy Boat) *Converts U.S. standard to metric (Navigational Software from the Mars Climate Orbiter) *Summons stone turtle statues (Bixi Stele) *Points to the south pole (Roald Amundson's Binoculars) *Hands become trapped in pockets (Francois Nivelon's Sewing Needle) *Turns glass into sand (Dominick Labino's Glassblowing Tube) *Flowers will criticize you (Mary Wortley Montagu's Floristy Gloves) *User will gave names to bologna, then spell it (Andy Lambros' Fishing Pole) *User's house will turn into gingerbread and candy (Dough of Kolobok) *Hyper ticklishness (Catherine the Great's Slippers) *Throws user's voice and says rude personal remarks (Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy's Top Hats *Mind aberrations (The Lady from Shanghai's Mirror Maze) *Edible teeth (Vipeholm Experiments Candy Jar, Pierre Fauchard’s Needle Nose Pliers) *Crunches and folds objects flat (Edwin Abbott Abbott’s Ruler) *A lost sea (NWA 7034) *Moving pictures a la Harry Potter (Eadweard Muybridge's Zoopraxiscope, Stan Lee's Pen) *Body-mind control (Cecil B. Demille's Riding Crop) *Fire worship (Lanterns from the Tillamook Rock Light) *Corrosion of water (Caligula's Spear) *Reorientation of gravity (Georges-Louis Le Sage’s Telegraph) *Splits things into their separate elements/chemical components (Antoine Lavosier's Microscope) *Accelerates moving bodies past terminal velocity (Laika's Harness) *Requires minimum 135 people to work (Badge of the 6th Northern Light Infantry) *Remembering others memories (Poker Alice's Playing Cards) *Need to eat exotic animals (Alexandre Étienne Choron’s Menu) *Plays lullabys that make motion stop (Robert Hooke's Music Box) *Absorption of other's intelligence (Alexander Alekhine's Chess Set) *Penchance to destroy anything royal/government (Guy Fawkes' Gunpowder and Gun) *Creates avalanches (Skis from the Winter of Terror) *Turns all spirits into water (Henry D. Cogswell’s Drinking Fountain) *Makes objects spin around at high speed (Alexander Calder's First Mobile, Nadar’s Balloon Basket, James Watt's Weather Vane) *Drastically change weight (Otto Lilienthal's Gloves, Robert Atkins' Bathroom Scale) *Automatically cleans filth (John Dwight's Hammer) *Flammable ice (Southern Cross Expedition Candle Holder) *Throws people like baseballs (Babe Ruth's Baseball Bat) *Inverts flight (Tito Livio Burattini's Dragon) *Complete history of personal feelings will be revealed in newspapers, tv, the internet, etc. (Hedda Hopper's Dictation Machine) *Strangers mobbing around the user for their sudden wealth (California Gold Rush Mining Pan) *Creates a wall of sound (Hitachi Maxell Speaker) *Makes electricity harmless (Roll of Rubber Electrical Tape) *Solidifies cement and dries paint instantly (George Carlin's Microphone) *Makes things flip upside down (Zodiac Life Boat from the Sinking of the Trashman) *Urge to wrestle bears (Seth Kinman’s Elkhorn Chair) *Creates an insta-cult (Hayao Miyazaki's Paper) *Destabilizes rigid structures (Marian Anderson's Hair Pins) *Proponent of nudism (Lady Godiva's Saddle) *Causes family feuds (A Christmas Story Leg Lamp) *Transfers knowledge and skills between people (Alexander Alekhine's Chess Set) *Deconstructs architecture (Philip Reid’s Block and Tackle, Victor Gruen’s Shopping Mall Model) *The urge to slap people (Vivien Leigh's Girdle from Gone with the Wind) *Static cling (Thales' Amber) *Turns user inside-out (Cyrus Teed's Orrery) *Can't digest meat (Francis Bacon's Pipe) *Sing everything you say (Original Broadway Street Sign, Walter Whiteford's Pin) *Blurt out answers in the form of a question (Jeopardy! Contestant Podiums) *Be witty at parties (Mae West's Cocktail Glasses) *Sticks users feet to the floor (Immovable Reebok Tennis Shoe, Francis Browne’s Negatives ) *Need to listen to 1980s rock music (MTV VCR) *Increases the weight of clouds (Luke Howard's Barometer) *Grows crystals hundreds of yards long (Cuevas de los Cristales Selenite Sample) *Makes clones out of negative attributes, pre-1930s (Johann Blumhardt's Rosary) *Summons a flock of butterflies (Monarch Butterfly Clip) *Erases written words (Leonardo Da Vinci's Mirror) *Determines slopes of a room (Ship Wheel from the HMS Swan) *Makes all eyes appear red (Red Eye Camera) *Feral behavior (Marie-Angélique Memmie Le Blanc's Bracelet) *Places user in a tv show or movie (Doña Fausta's Brooch) *Destroys landmarks (Herostratus’ Lantern) *Removes all undergarments (Declothing Sword) *Tone-deafness (Florence Foster Jenkins' Feather Fan) *User will produce a foul body odor to fend off attackers (Benedict of Aniane's Rosary) *Wakes everyone in a 7km radius up at exactly sunrise (Charred Chicken Feathers) *User will believe that they are a child (Stanley Thornton Jr.'s Baby Bottle, James M. Barrie's Grandfather Clock) *Makes users fingernails a sharp as razors (Feline Scratching Post) *Footprints appear randomly on freshly cleaned floors (Frustrated Floor Mop) *Air activated power source (James Watt's Weather Vane) *Creates storms of ______ (Dust Bowl Windmill) *Makes everything taste like chocolate (Patrick Skene Catling's Divider) *Intense sensitivity to loud noises (Bassoon from the Premiere of The Rite of Spring) *Laughing at inappropriate times (Harry Einstein's Italian Bell) *User becomes irresistible to farm animals (Farmer's Pitchfork) *Popcorn will grow on trees (Charles Cretors’ Popcorn Cart) *Hatred of technology (Luddite Hammer) *Acidifies the sky (Robert Angus Smith's Jar) *Gardens will grow human organs (Andreas Vesalius' Watering Can) *Meta-Humor (Denis Diderot's Inkwell) *Gives user a lisp (Mel Blanc's Pitch Pipe) *Develop and aversion to fried food (Robert Atkins' Bathroom Scale) *Aquatic animal attacks (Dawn Brancheau's SeaWorld Training Suit) *Uncontrollable hicupping (Charles Osborne's Water Cup) *Causes traffic jams (Road Sign from the China National Highway 110 Traffic Jam) *Converts fat into food (Original McDonald's Happy Meal Container) *Soldifies light (Joseph Swan's Electric Light) *Flight enhancing armor (O-yoroi Armor) *Speaking pig Latin (Roman Pig Statue) *Perpetually feeling moist or sweaty (LeBron James' Headband) *Slapping yourself in the face (Moe Howard's Necktie) *Develops a fear of puppets (Lindsay Broom's Fozzie Doll) *User will become allergic to pistachios (Original Planters Peanut Case) *Turns stone into cheese (Stone-Changing Cheese Knife ) *Makes passerbys perform the electric slide (Ric Silver's Shoes) *Uncontrollable skipping until they come across a toilet or someone named Lou (Skip to My Lou Violin) *Promotes staring (Stare Promoting Glasses) *User will hate ampersands (Original Copy of "King Alfred's Grammar") *Turns victim's urine into tea (Klaus Reichardt's Teapot) *Extracts calcium (George Green’s Dentistry Tools) *Intense desire to consume fugu (Bando Mitsugoro VIII's Hachimaki) *Jumping out windows (Garry Hoy's Window Pane) *Water intoxication (Jennifer Strange's Water Bottles) *Biological gaseous exchange (Elagabalus' Whoopee Cushion) *User will develop an obsession with making shoes (Salvatore Ferragamo's Shoemaker's Last) *Rapid crystalization (Edgar Hollis' Cricket Ball) *Endless dancing (Stones from The Dancing Plague of 1518, Carmen Miranda's Maracas) *Body composition transforms into ham (Joseph Porzuczek's Deli Meat Slicer) *Turns user into ceramc (Josephine Cochrane's Dishwasher) *User turns into a sandwich (Original Subway Coupon) *Summons centipedes (Original Centipede Arcade Machine) *Addiction to baked goods (Preserved Apple Pie) *Perfect accuracy towards Australian products (Australian Boomerang) *User begins behaving as a cow (Taxidermied Cow) *Dries out skin (Tollund Man Rope) *Young women will chase the user (The Romulus Amulet) *User will give the opposite answer to what they want when asked a two option question (Benjamin Disraeli's Wreath) *Boils that pop like bubble wrap (Ashes from the 1925 Madame Tussaud Fire) *Blood turns blue (Royal Silverware Set) *Uncontrollable break-dancing (Adam G. Sevani's Necktie) *Farts lemon scented air (Original Pledge Lemon Scented Spray) *Urge to brush other people's teeth (Broxodent Electric Toothbrush) *Increases suspicion (Noor Inayat Khan's Suitcase Radio) *Kleptomania (Theodor Seuss Geisel's Grinch Santa Hat) *Fills the user's insides with a whirlwind (Iron Jacket’s Mail Armor) *Makes other plants grow as fast as kudzu (Frances Hodgson Burnett's Garden Key) *Makes user remember their worst memory (Dorothy Gibson's Cardigan) *Can not make contact with skin (Original Playboy Bunny Collar and Cuffs) *User will go deaf in one ear (Henry Rathbone’s Cigarette Case) *Turns the tongue blue (Nick Piantanida's Parachute Harness Buckle) *User will relive their prom over and over (William H Harrison High School's 1981 Prom Punch Bowl) *Teleports you five feet (Warren Harding's Silk Pajamas) *Nanobots (William H. Sewell Jr's Erector Set) *Develop a knack for interior design (Sister Parish's Rose Brooch) *Reversal of ground and sky (Montgolfier Brothers' Sackcloth) *Only talk using movie quotes (Don Adams' Shoe Phone) *Rhyming causes user to spit fire, mores rhymes the hotter the blaze (John Simon's Mouthwash) *Removes identifying markers (Taman Shud Note) *Pictures turn into holographic portals (Henry Fox Talbot’s Salt Paper) *User will not give up hope even when things seem over (Babur’s Howdah) *Venom Spit (Mangshan Pit Viper Snake Skin Belt) *Hear through another person's ears (Thomas Knowlton's Shot Glass) *Negates allergies (Sheldon Kaplan's Desk Pen) *Removes all empathy (Heinrich Himmler's Runic Ring) *Powered by salsa music (Tito Puente's Microphone) *Makes shadow sensitive to touch (Chinese Shadow Theatre Figure) *Grows beards on infants (Josephine Clofullia's Comb) *Bedsheets will feel like sandpaper (Amy Adams' Flannel Washcloth) *Will create anger towards people from Constantinople (Helmet from the Fall of Constantinople) *Turns teeth into xylophone keys (Teddy Brown's Xylophone) *Sandwiches will turn into cardboard (1940s Sandwich Board) *Makes user's hands sticky (Original Elmer's Glue Bottle) *Coins will fall out of user's ears (David Roth's Quarter) *Color Manipulation (Ewald Hering's Glasses) *Psychic Persuasion (Helene Adelaide Shelby's Checkbook) *Addiction to butter (Endless Butter Dish) *Feet can withstand intense heat (Fiji Firewalking Coal Bed) *User will be at the receiving end of poetic justice (Haman's Robe) *Ability to solve riddles (Oedipus' Staff) *Attracts frogs (Statue of Heket) *Removes all alcohol from the body, often violently through either end (Wayne Wheeler's Hayfork *Remove conditions and requirements (Judge Roy Bean's 1879 edition of the Revised Statutes of Texas) *Inability to say no ("A Jersey Lily" by John Everett Millais) *Removes time delay due to light speed Christiaan Huygens' Pendulum) *Ability to compress body to slide under doors (Debbie Stone's Name Tag) *Makes user look suspicious (Noor Inayat Khan's Suitcase Radio) *Generate from within oneself cloth (Isaac Singer’s Sewing Machine) *Nails on a chalkboard *Obsession with playing board games *Cocoons the most valuable resources *Ritual sacrifice of corn *Cloud mountains *Technological drugs *Uncontrollable matter shifting *Releases a cold inducing spore *Powered by children’s laughter *Causes fish to fly in the air *Rewrites local reality only on astronomical days *Turns memories into memorials *Makes yoga poisonous *Control over one's own bodily systems *Tries to constantly maintain homeostasis in the surroundings *Places the user in a futuristic base *Crystal aligning do-dad *Turns wood back into trees *Causes all bigots to revert to insects *Makes snow turn into marshmallows and vice-versa *Swaps organs *Harms all nearby amphibians *User becomes paranoid of numbers *Allergic reaction to names *The tooth fairy *Makes sports champions unlucky *Explodes when touches cloth *Increases sense of smell only for birds *Food will eat people *Contains a miniature world *Ability to create bizzare inventions *Rescues political prisoners and castaways *Post-partum depression *Body parts will break off and regrow anew *Taste copper *Fear of things that come in three *User will think they are naked when they are not *Hoarding garden gnomes *Obsession with making horseradish from scratch *Smell lemon furniture polish everywhere *Clothes will never match *Urge to travel to West Virginia *Birds will lay eggs in outstretched hands *Ability to artistically carve vegetables *Mimic the voices of others *Pass large objects through your nose *Mastery of double dutch *Water glasses that play music when you fill them *Shatter glass with your burps *Makes microwave ovens fail *Causes electronic devices to work by themselves *Travel to the sub-atomic level *Forces the user to disagree with everything *Endless orange juice *Changes your footprints *Makes your hair controllable limbs *Giant soap bubbles *Something that was destroyed into 3,549 pieces *Memory ripples *Pogo stick *Giant Eyeball *Regresses the growth of flowers *Makes apes sweaty *Disappears when touched *Owned by someone name Phyllis *Perfectly slices fruit *Grants wishes when asked in rhyme *Only answers questions it’s never heard before *Constant itching *Pixie dust *Swap out parts of one object with another *Waterrises *Removes all sand and dirt particles *Makes conspiracy theories come true *Life altering career choice *Reverse invisibility *Requires at least 10 watts of power *Protects criminals *Makes bread rise exponentially *Alters body composition *Defies logic *Transfers physical sensations *Causes tongues to fall out *Unjointed limbs *Adhesion to walls and ceilings *A wizard *User becomes target of practical jokes *Teeth begin to separate in mouth forming large gaps *Causes kidney stones *Allows rapid movement but only diagonally *Absorb information in books by licking them *User will feel the physical pain of others *Causes morning sickness and spontaneous glowing *Urge to get married immediately *Causes hoarding tendencies *Craving for dog food or animal food pellets *Feel the vibrations in the soil like a worm *Obsession with solving crimes *User will hear a ticking clock when danger approaches *Rolling dice will always result in snake eyes *Stores kinetic energy - must remain in constant motion to avert explosions *Makes user want to cry at parties they host *Grows rare peony flowers where treasure is buried *Causes punching sprees *User hates Democrats *User hates Republicans *User hates members of the Whig party *Can only be neutralized with soil from original user's home state *User will impede travelers unless they can answer user's three riddles *Develops an allergy to coffee *Imperfectly converts standard to metric and vice versa, i.e. something that is 3 feet becomes 3 meters, something that is 1 pound becomes 1 gram. *User sees the floor as lava *User can stick things to other things as if they have been glued *Smells the scent of magnolia blossoms *User appears friendly, but becomes slowly more corrupt *User says outlandish things with no remorse or recognition *User will be perceived as repulsive or awkward by others *User will have no chance in hell of winning due to family connections *Lips are stuck in a pout expression *Extreme sensitivity to touch *Skin secrets slippery grease *Vultures will circle overhead *Makes user freeze for 17 minutes without knowing time has passed *Uncontrollable winking *Comedic clumsiness *Makes mucus glow *User can predict the future, but some details will be wrong or obscure *Only activates on bank holidays *Everything touched begins to be drained of color, leaving it gray *Causes lockjaw *Cures hemorrhoids *Turns kidney stones into diamonds *Roller coaster that feeds on adrenaline *Breaks objects into puzzle pieces *Shrinks objects to 1/10th of their original size *Desire to draw on walls *Convinces user that it is his/her birthday *Makes user think that others are staring *Makes user as flat and billowy as a sail *Summons hobos/drifters/the indigent *Protects from sickness for one day *Causes constipation *Removes ability to read and write *Distorts users image in mirrors *Gives ability to sing the whistle pitch - Minnie Riperton *Hair recedes back into users head *Casts no shadow *Is attached to a truck *Appears at the wrong time *Immediately removes itself from situations *Terrified of candlelight *Makes user think he/she is a cat *Gives user a taste for bland foods *Makes shoes shrink in size *Causes user to sneeze in the presence of Zimbabweans *User gains the compulsion to touch doorknobs *Bread will never land butter side down *User will experience intense popularity followed by unpopularity *User will always find a place to park *User will attract spare change *Users shoes will never come untied *Heals small cuts instantly *Releases the smell of dead fish *A mild attraction to swing dancing *Mood is affected by music *User will snore even while awake *Great skill at folding laundry *Shuffling, dragging your feet *A constant need for validation from others *Immunity to the black plague *Watermelons grow down near a bay when odd questions are asked *User grows rabbit teeth *Chattering teeth *User will want to organize things in order of size, from biggest to smallest *Inability to stop reading a book *Becoming invisible by pressing outie belly button *Cars will always start on the first try *User will randomly switch to different ages *Whistle at a range of frequencies to be heard by only dogs or shatter glass *Aversion to small children *Clapping along to the rhythm *Turns milk into cranberry juice *Light switches will flick on and off rapidly *Makes user forget what is left and right *Turns people into wood *Transports user to the last place they wish to be *User gets used to stylistic changes immediately *Transfers users confusion into others *Hardens a shell of limestone over objects *Spiritwalking *Envy of gophers *Generates geographically correct produce *Always oriented in a zig-zag pattern *Allows the user to narrates others' daily lives *Solid wind *Transmutation *Super Speed *Electric Invulnerability *Scramble Radio Frequencies *Microscopic Vision *Animal Communication *Induced Sedation *Molten Metal Skin *Psychic Shield *Toxic/Radioactive Breath *Absorb Organisms *360-Degree Vision *Self-Sustenance *Rock Skin *Solar Enhanced Strength *Echolocation *Nullification *Fire Invulnerability *Cyclone Spinning *Instant Martial Arts Mastery *Enhanced Lung Capacity *Seismokinesis *Detach and reattach Limbs at will *Vocivery (Always being right) *Gain strength from environment/landscape *Condense darkness/shadows into a tangible form *Create weak points in one's target *Open a psychic link with anyone related to the object you are touching *Infuse emotions and/or emotional energy into objects *Gain strength from humility *Precognitive Crafting (carving a prediction from wood or any other material) *Haemokinetic Construction (create things from blood) *Demagnetize objects *Use the air like it was a solid surface *Change, control, and manipulate the answer to any question Category:Blog posts